Friday, February 11, 2005

STRANDED ON FIRST

Not long ago, Canseco was on a talk show selling his new book about baseball and steroids. Canseco, trying not to give too much away, gave few particulars in the hopes you will rush out and buy it. Later, the Host, who had read it, offered up many details found within this "juiced-up" tell-all.

This book will do "Operation Linebacker" type damage to baseball, because in it he not only carpet bombs baseball as a whole, he names names. By "names," I mean, BIG NAMES. The kind with records attached to them; the kind that fill stadium seats with butts that have 8 dollar beers in hand.

Canseco, with this book, isn't pulling the curtain back and showing us anything we didn't already know about baseball. And we all know he's doing it to make some money so he can regain his prior station in life. He has few options in which to do this, so he's using the most practical one available to him, and doing it well, I might add.

I believe he's telling the truth in this book, it's just my opinion, but here's why I think this:

Between stories of how some players got to looking like Popeye at the plate, he tells the readers how his date with Madonna turned out. According to Canseco, he only made-out with her on the couch. That's it, end of story. A let down, to say the least.

I'm sorry, folks, if Canseco was inclined to embellish in this book, this would be the place to do it. Any editor wanting to sell books will tell you that.

If I'm the one writing this story, and I'm "at bat" with Madonna, there isn't going to be a bloop single with me standing on first base. No, the ball's going out of the fuckin' park, past the Fire Station, and rolling down Waveland Ave. And, the inning would go on with me appearing at the plate, again, for yet another long ball, so magnificent, that Harry Caray wouldn't know whether to shit or have another Budweiser. Madonna would be inspired to write a song about it.

Whether true or not, Baseball is not going to be happy with this book, and in the end, I don't think Jose Canseco will be, either.

UPDATE: Jose Canseco will be on "60 Minutes" Sunday, February 13th. Don't miss this one, baseball fans.

Read today's article about Conseco from the New York Times.





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